Blog dedicated to the discussion and discoveries found throughout the Ikigai Series From Food and recipes, to topics on mental health improvements. The Blog is a love letter to spiritual and mental growth.
‘IKIGAI’ GUESTS
Jiiva Capati
Get to know Jiiva Capati, Owner and Pastry Chef of Make it Drizzle Desserts.
Check out her ‘IKIGAI’ episode, where she discusses her journey of motherhood while making delicious treats.
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Today we would like to Introduce Jiiva to the IKIGAI family.
Jiiva, thank you for joining us, please introduce yourself and tell the IKIGAI audience a little about what you do?
Hi my name is Jiiva, I am a full-time Mom of three and a proud Air Force wife. I have a penchant for making edible treats for my family and friends.
Edible Treats? How did you come about making these?
I started an Instagram page called “Make it Drizzle” back in late 2019 to document my edible creations in photos. When I made cake pops for the first time back in 2013, for my daughter’s birthday, I realized it was more than just an a hobby for me. I realized that making edible treats is my passion and an exciting outlet for my creativity.
With the pandemic, things have been rather difficult, to say the least. How are you coping with the pandemic and the “new normal” and what does your new normal look like?
As a stay-at-home Mom in the middle of a pandemic, I often feel responsible for my children’s daily schedule, meals, activities, behavior, education and development, while also struggling to find a moment for myself. Being a stay-at-home Mom is an undervalued job. I sometimes feel isolated and anxious, but I know that I am not alone. I also take comfort in knowing that while being a stay-at-home Mom, it is the hardest job I’ve ever had, but it is also the most rewarding and best job I’ve ever had.
My “new normal” is homeschooling my kids half of the time (which I really wasn’t prepared for in the beginning), and having to quickly adjust and adapt to a new routine. My “new normal” is also not seeing some of my friends, not dining out with them and talking about “mom-stuff.”
What/who inspires/influences you?
My husband and my children inspire me to be a better person everyday. They also inspire me to be strong and resilient.
What aspects of wellness and self-care do you implement in your own life?
I feel really accomplished and happy by waking up early in the morning and working out. When I am not working on an edible art project, I sometimes play piano for hours to relax and sleep well at night.
Is there anything you would like to accomplish in your life that you haven’t done yet?
I want to be able to travel more with my family, finish my MBA (which i am currently putting on hold), and open up a home based bakery.
On a bad day, how do you push past negative thoughts and feelings in regards to yourself or your business/occupation?
As a stay-at home Mom, there have been times where I’ve struggled to find purpose in my day-to-day mothering. Negative thoughts have crept up in my mind again, during this pandemic. So, I always keep with me a personal mission statement. Like big organizations and companies develop mission statements to define their values and help achieve their goals, so should you. I think keeping a personal mission statement is a great tool to develop. I have a personal mission statement or mantra as a Mom and wife. My personal mission statement reminds of what my purpose is, in the home, and helps me to remember that I am more than just scrubbing toilets, cooking meals, washing dishes and doing laundry. Without a clear vision, it is so easy to lose track of our purpose in life.
What advice would you give to those searching for their IKIGAI or the meaning of their lives especially during these stressful/uncertain times?
This is such a hard question. We all have bad days and negative thoughts. Personally, avoiding negative thoughts and feelings is so hard. So, instead I turn “towards” it and make it a source of my strength. Just know that these negative feelings are temporary and you are more than just what you feel.
Thank you Jiiva and welcome to the ‘IKIGAI’ family! Check out her episode of the ‘IKIGAI’ Wellness Series and stay up to date on upcoming interviews!
Dejion Ramsey
Get to know Dejion Ramsey, Muay Thai Fighter.
Check out his ‘IKIGAI’ episode, where he discusses his spiritual and physical journey through Muay Thai fighting.
Click on the button below:
Today we would like to Introduce Dejion Ramsey to the IKIGAI family.
Dejion, thank you for joining us, can you introduce yourself and tell the IKIGAI audience a little about what you do?
Hello, Ikigai audience my name is dejion, my friends call me D. I am currently trying to figure out this spiritual journey that I am on. It's taking me to places I have not been before, but I know I can reach - so there are a couple of ways I have chosen to channel that and one of them is through Muay Thai.
Why did you choose that line of work or that sport?
Muay Thai, the art of 8 limbs, can be very brutal and you use your whole body. In essence Thai kickboxing. I grew up having been in fights and that's fighting in an unsafe environment, luckily I have never been hurt before. Muay Thai was my introduction to that (intense) energy and helped me channel mine.
What/who inspires/influences you?
My mother played a huge role in inspiring me. My mom is a wanderlust, and I have adapted that, I feel like I have adapted that nomadic mentality.
On a bad day, how do you push past negative thoughts and feelings in regards to yourself or your business/occupation?
It's funny you ask, there are a few times I came to practice angry… I'm normally a quiet person but I do have a temper… so the energy would be in me, and I let the exercise go through with the anger fueling it. It does become a stress relief. The other thing is talking about it. I am the type of person that would say what bothers me and live in my truth, I usually can’t let it go, so I just let it out verbally. I can’t let the negative energy build up because it will begin to rot.
What aspects of wellness and self-care do you implement in your own life?
Well, reading, yoga, playing video games, just trying to relax. When I wake up, I try to meditate. I do a sun salutation 5-15 min in the morning. It really does help define the rest of the day. Coffee, to be honest it's a little addictive but I definitely need it. I listen to music and it helps put my thoughts into words if that makes sense.
Dejion Cosplaying odogaron armor for Anime NYC - photographed by @bold_ventures.llc (IG )
Is there anything you would like to accomplish in your life that you haven’t done yet?
I had a poster that mapped out what I want in the next 10 years and it said, “grow that sexy long hair, go to college, learn how to play guitar and win the” game”. Growing up I considered myself a very “ realistic” person, I didn't set big goals. I always set small goals but all those goals I set for myself - I did them later down the line. Now I realize, I probably should have set bigger goals. Now that it is 2021, I am not playing anymore- investing, stock, all of it I am diving into. My new 10-year goal is to send my mother on a worldwide cruise. In 10 years this my new goal. I now realize if I am not setting goals that make me nervous then they are not high enough.
What advice would you give to those searching for their IKIGAI or the meaning of their lives especially during these stressful/uncertain times?
We are here for a very small amount of time. In the span of Earth, we are a blink, to be honest. So my advice is just to live your life. Do something that you are proud of and what you want to leave behind, no matter how big or small. I mean we all are going to die… that’s the one true fact. Might as well live it ( your life ) the way you want.
Thank you Dejion and welcome to the ‘IKIGAI’ family! Check out her episode of the ‘IKIGAI’ Wellness Series and stay up to date on upcoming interviews!
Jasmine Okai
Get to know Jasmine Okai, founder of the non-profit Care to Dream inc.
Check out her ‘IKIGAI’ episode, where she discusses her journey of forgiveness and her inspiring non-profit that focuses on teaching young men and women how to avoid domestic violence in healthy romantic relationships.
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Today we would like to Introduce Jasmine Okai to the IKIGAI family.
Jasmine, thank you for joining us, can you introduce yourself and tell the IKIGAI audience a little about what you do?
My name is Jasmine Okai, I am the Founder and Director of the Non-profit Care to Dream Inc. It was established as a way for me to spread awareness of Domestic Violence, my daughter, 10 years ago was killed in a domestic violence dispute. The foundation is to help people in similar situations of domestic violence receive important tools as well as mentoring for young males. The inspiration was to help our youth. When my daughter was killed, she was a teenager. She was killed by her significant other. With the support of my friends and families, we now offer education on all the different ways domestic violence can affect people of all ages.
With the pandemic, things have been rather difficult, to say the least. How are you coping with the pandemic and the “new normal” and what does your new normal look like?
I am just taking it day by day. I believe in not trying to take on any more than I can bear. I learned that through therapy actually, you can only do what you can handle. When you realize that; I believe it is easier, then you are able to accept your limitations.
What/who inspires/influences you?
What inspires me? Well, that would have to be my daughter, Empress. From a very young age, she knew exactly what she wanted to do, driven - I admire that. I was never an affectionate person, but because she was who she was- very affectionate - it sort of forced me to do it. Every night she would not want to sleep unless she got tucked in. She knew I was not the most affectionate and yet she knew I would do anything for her. It's inspiring to me because she is the total opposite of who I am, but she came from me, so I know I have that capacity of love, and I live it through her.
On a bad day, how do you push past negative thoughts and feelings in regards to yourself or your business/occupation?
To be honest… It’s hard. Pray. That is God's honest truth. Somebody can tell you “ Things will get better ” and sometimes they do not, but - You don't have to live in that sadness, you know? Losing my daughter Jashaya, things did not get better. I still had to fight for my granddaughter. Right after losing my child, now I have to fight for my granddaughter. 5 years of the process. In the end, I did not get to have full custody of my granddaughter… but God talked to me when I walked out of court. He said to me “ This is not your fight.. This is not your fight anymore”. I dropped the case, and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. God told me that was not my fight, and that I needed to get out of that situation or … it was going to tear me apart. I had to go about my life as if I didn’t know she was in Brooklyn. And trust God’s plan and he was faithful, today my granddaughter is with me. If I did not listen to him and let him guide me, I probably would not have gotten her back. So my advice, if it's out of your control, sometimes, you just have to let it go. When you do that, you will be better for it. Prayer and let it go.
What aspects of wellness and self-care do you implement in your own life?
I mean I do what I like to do… I like to gamble, so I take a ride to the casino haha. I believe if you focus on yourself and what brings some happiness to you. As long as you are taking care of yourself that's what matters. If I wake up and I am not good, I cannot be good for anyone else. Focus first on you and then you can be better for everyone else.
Is there anything you would like to do or accomplish in your life that you haven't done yet?
What I would like to ultimately achieve through this foundation, a contract with the city of New York, and that my program goes into every junior high and high school. “ Domestic Violence Literacy” Teaching the kids in essence. I believe if we can expose them early to this information about healthy relationships since that is the time when kids start forming attraction or crushes. If we can teach children the signs and how to avoid or be mindful of domestic violence situations, we can hopefully prevent the many cases of it.
What are you most proud of?
I am most proud of the fact that I am working towards being better than the generation before me, and I hope that my daughter is doing better than me, and so on. I am proud of how far I have come. I learned from a young age to take care of myself because I had to. I am a firm believer that people do need to go through rough times, so they can know yes, this is life and if you never go through anything you won’t know anything or how to overcome anything.
What advice would you give to those searching for their IKIGAI or the meaning to their lives especially during these stressful/uncertain times?
Honestly, the only thing to help you get through life is God. I cannot go anywhere without him. Also, surround yourself with people who make you happy. That you love, and that makes you happy. That's the most important. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, that is a good start.
Thank you Jasmine and welcome to the ‘IKIGAI’ family! Check out her episode of the ‘IKIGAI’ Wellness Series and stay up to date on upcoming interviews!
Kathryn Cloward
Get to know Kathryn Cloward aka Kathryn The Grape
Check out her ‘IKIGAI’ episode, where she discusses her mental journey and her path to becoming an Award-winning book series Author, multi-genre Songwriter, and Producer.
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Today we would like to Introduce Kathryn Cloward aka Kathryn The Grape to the IKIGAI family.
Kathryn, thank you for joining us, can you introduce yourself and tell the IKIGAI audience a little about what you do?
My name is Kathryn Cloward. I am an Award-winning book series Author, multi-genre Songwriter, and Producer. I am the founder of Kandon Unlimited, Inc., a heart-centered mindful media company intent on creating and publishing positive and empowering media for people of all ages. I have written and released seven full-length music albums in seven years. (Four Kathryn Cloward and Three Kathryn the Grape). I have written and produced for others, such as Michelle Hopkins, a teenager with a rare incurable disease, and a novel for Father Joe, one of San Diego's most impactful humble heroes.
Amazing! Can you tell us more, what is your profession/business? Why did you choose that line of work?
In a nutshell, I am an artist. My artform is storytelling of life lessons and life experiences, mainly shared through the books and songs I write.
Artistry is my calling. To create something new that didn’t exist before is exhilarating for me. I love taking the seed of an inspired idea and cultivating it into being. Manifestation excites me, drives me, and fulfills me. I am bored by routine and repetition; the mundane drains me. The possibility of establishing new creations is exciting and energizing for me. That’s why the entrepreneurial business path has always been my choice, even when I worked for other companies before doing what I do now; I wasn’t paid by the hour or salaried — I earned commissions by generating new business from relationships I developed with my clients. I liked that make-it-happen mentality.
Thus, when I woke up early in the morning day after day with an inner calling to “get up and start writing Kathryn the Grape” 12 years ago, I listened and started on this path, one that coincided with my own journey of self-love and self-discovery. As I was doing a lot of personal development work, which is always ongoing for me, I was discovering tools to help me develop more authentic self-love and compassionate awareness. I wanted to be able to provide my son with those same tools. It was from that desire that I realized the purpose for creating my Kathryn the Grape youth series was to provide tools of affirmation and self-awareness. That’s where I started, and from there, I continued to grow and create more.
For most, during this time, it has been rather difficult. How are you coping with the pandemic and the “new normal” and what does your new normal look like?
The pandemic has certainly created a tremendous shift in my life, personally and professionally, as it has in many people’s lives. While I have been enjoying a simple life for many years — and what I mean by “simple” is my life is less crowded, less noisy, less influenced, less of everything unnecessary to me — the pandemic has provided me with some new realms of personal simplicity that I have welcomed. It’s been more of a forced norm that I have actually embraced because there’s no other way to handle it in my opinion. It is what is.
In March 2020, with businesses being shut down for all in-person events, I did experience challenges with that, since working directly with youth is a significant aspect of my daily life. But I didn’t freeze or wallow. Instead, I had to figure out ways to adjust everything — which I was willing to do. The truth is, during the pandemic, I’ve created like crazy. Even though I am outgoing, I am an introvert and I create in alone space. So while I had some major personal challenges to endure when the forced at-home aspect of the pandemic kicked in, I was able to transform those changes and feelings into creating new songs and stories to be shared well beyond this time of our lives.
That is great to hear! What/who inspires/influences you?
I am inspired by everyday experiences and how I feel about them. Everything I create is seeded first and foremost by a feeling. I have to feel it to be able to create it. I care deeply about personal development and transformation. My dad introduced me to personal development tools when I was a teenager. Through his example of becoming a more self-aware man and also through some books he introduced me — like The Power of Positive Thinking — I really did accept into my awareness that my positive thoughts could create positive outcomes, just as my negative thoughts could create negative outcomes. I understand the law of attraction and how what we think about we bring about. So it’s important for me to be mindful of my thoughts and my feelings. My relationship with my teenage son has brought forth tremendous inspiration in my creative life. Loving him has helped me love myself more, which has greatly impacted my decisions on every level, personally and professionally. Also, another influence of mine would be Italy. My heritage influences me tremendously. My son and I want to travel to Scotland and through Europe. Through that journey, I would love to learn more about my Italian family heritage and spend more time all throughout Italy.
On a bad day, how do you push past negative thoughts and feelings in regards to yourself or your business/occupation?
My mindset has always been to seek a solution. So while I definitely have challenging days, and negative thoughts do stream into my mind on occasion, they don’t take root or linger for long. This is mainly because I’ve developed some helpful and healing self-care practices to be more mindful about my energy — my thoughts, words, and actions.
What aspects of wellness and self-care do you implement in your own life?
A few important things I do that are helpful to me are:
I honor privacy. I am a private person. Being private is about honoring what is sacred, what matters most to me, which is my son and my story. So I am extremely discerning about who I share the raw and real details of my life with when I am journeying through stuff. Yes, I am a storytelling artist and sharing is a component of what I do. Yet, I have reached a place in my life where I am comfortable being authentic and appropriately transparent, sharing about my process and my journey while also being mindfully discerning about honoring the sacred aspects of the “what” I had to experience to learn my lessons. As the mom of a teenage son, this honoring of our privacy is also about honoring his unique journey. I always promised myself I’d never tell anything about my life in a public forum that I hadn’t already shared with my son in private. That promise has provided me with a wonderful standard of discernment in navigating through my life the past few years.
My morning ritual of journaling and meditation is a sacred practice for me. I started journaling and mediating in 2009 and since then, it’s started every day of my life. How we start our day is so important because it sets our energy for the day. What we put in our minds the moment we wake up matters. I never look at my phone until well after I am done with my morning ritual. I don’t want any outside energy to be what welcomes me into a new day. Instead, I get up, pour my coffee and convene in my sacred space to journal, pray and meditate, and often that evolves into a songwriting session. I am an early riser and cherish my mornings. In fact, most of what I’ve written — almost every song and book — has been written before 7 a.m.
Walking is healing! Another self-care thing I do most days is I go for a long walk (30–60 minutes). I’ve been doing this for many years, too. It’s actually less about the exercise of it, which is beneficial no doubt, and more about decluttering my mind and gaining a new perspective. Being outside, moving my energy while walking, helps to discern my next right decisions during and/or after my walks. If I am weighing something heavily during the day, I will walk it out. I remember a few years ago, I was experiencing depression about something that felt massively heavy for me to carry. I had never felt so depressed in my life. I recall knowing that I had to get up and go outside. I was laying on the floor in my room with the heaviness of heartache weighing me down, but I just knew if I could get up and walk, I’d feel better. It took everything I had, but I did eventually get up and walk, and it did help. It didn’t change the circumstance I was experiencing, but it helped me shift how I was thinking about it and that’s always the starting line for moving through challenges.
Is there anything you would like to accomplish in your life that you haven’t done yet?
I actually don’t have any unfulfilled desires per se, but I do have plenty more things I am working on because my creative mind is always in manifestation mode. There are some new experiences I’d like to have with traveling. I want to experience driving along the east coast and doing a lighthouse tour. I’m really into lighthouses right now. My son and I want to go to Scotland and Europe. I just want to explore more. I have a zest for just experiencing new places — without an agenda or schedule. I am free-spirited and enjoy the organic experience of arrival versus having any expectation about what I am going to encounter.
What are you most proud of?
I am most proud of my son. He’s just a cool human being. I cherish his character of compassion and acceptance. I am in awe of him. Being his mom changed my life and I am so grateful.
What advice would you give to those searching for their IKIGAI or the meaning of their lives especially during these stressful/uncertain times?
My only advice is to simply follow your heart. You know inside of you what you truly want to experience and what is “right” for you. The more you trust yourself — what you know intuitively and what you feel oriented toward — the more you will experience the confidence of being you, and by being authentic to yourself, you will make decisions that excite you, drive you and fulfill you.
Thank you Kathryn and welcome to the ‘IKIGAI’ family! Check out her episode of the ‘IKIGAI’ Wellness Series and stay up to date on upcoming interviews!
LAKAYANA DRURY
Get to know Lakayana Drury Founder and Executive Director of Non-Profit Word Is Bond
Check out his ‘IKIGAI’ episode, where he discusses his mental journey and impactful non-profit that creates a dialogue between young Black males and Law Enforcement.
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Today we would like to Introduce Lakayana Drury the founder and Executive Director of Word is Bond to the IKIGAI family.
Lakayana, thank you for joining us and can you introduce yourself to the IKIGAI audience and tell us a little about what you do?
Sure, my name is Lakayana Drury. I am a Black, biracial, storyteller. I am of Sudanese and Irish descent. I am a writer and poet, a community organizer, and an educator. I went through the long process of discovering my gifts and am using them to empower others.
That's awesome, can you tell us more about your profession/business? Why did you choose that line of work?
Well, I am an educator and storyteller. And my profession, chose me based on my experiences growing up as a Black boy. The absence of my father. And my experience in the American public education system. All of it impacted my journey.
How are you coping with the pandemic and the “ new normal” and what does your new normal look like?
My new normal? Well, it looks like longer walks, more frequent cooking, a new relationship with my apartment, poetry, and continued work in the community even though the pandemic.
What/ Who inspires/ influences you?
What inspires me is really the youth of Portland. My ancestors guide me and the people around me, but all serve as an influence or inspiration.
On a bad day, how do you push past negative thoughts and feelings?
What helps me push past negativity, is really the same people who inspire and influence me; the young people I serve in my life. From Word is Bond to the kids I teach. It is difficult to remain negative with them around.
What aspects of wellness and self-care do you implement in your own life?
Self-care… I do have to do more of this. Haha, but definitely walking, journaling, laughing, biking, hiking. Being physical and present. I also believe talking with oneself, checking in is very important. Making sure I prioritize myself in my work is what I am currently practicing.
Is there anything you would like to do or accomplish in your life that you haven't done yet?
Mmm... Becoming a father.
What are you most proud of?
What I am most proud of would have to be who I have become. The type of work I have done and am doing in regards to the youth in the community of Portland...Overall, my resilience.
What advice would you give to those searching for their IKIGAI or the meaning to their lives especially during these stressful/uncertain times?
My advice would be to look inward. Truly believe in yourself. Through that, you can find your passion- I have no doubt. Lastly, listen to the universe. Let it guide you to where you need to be.
Thank you Lakayana and welcome to the ‘IKIGAI’ family! Check out his episode on ‘IKIGAI’ Wellness Series and stay up to date on upcoming interviews!
DERIDRE BAKER
Get to know Deridre Baker Founder of Baker’s Treats
Check out her ‘IKIGAI’ episode, where she teaches us step by step, how to make her Cannabis Butter.
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Today we would like to Introduce Deridre “ DeeDee “ Baker the founder of Baker’s Treats to the IKIGAI family.
DeeDee, thank you for joining us and can you introduce yourself to the IKIGAI audience and tell us a little about what you do?
Sure, my name is Deridre Baker, some call me DeeDee". You know - I am down to Earth. 51 years old. I used to work for the city for almost 30 years. I fixed stoves, door locks, Everything. I first got the job through a program, that sent me to school to learn the trade. There were very few women in housing authority. I came in, during the early 90s! I felt one day that, I am still young?! I have done enough time working for the city. I felt that I spent enough time working for someone else, I wanted to start my own business, I wanted to make money for myself now… and it does makes good money. I chose butter because you can use it with everything and put it on anything. It truly is accessible. Also, when my mother was diagnosed with cancer, weed/cannabis was the only thing that kept her feeling better… in the last 10 years, Cannabis has been really helpful for a lot of people, and my mission is to help people. In the future, expanding to lotions, and pain relievers, there is so much to learn and I want to make it all from my lens.
With the pandemic affecting our mental health, how are you coping? What does your “ new normal” look like?
The pandemic really pushed me over the edge. It convinced me to leave my job and do something for me. It was a really trying time. To be honest, I did not feel like safety precautions were being met, and essential workers everywhere can agree, it was really tough and uncertain. So I truly felt It was time for me to do something different. The pandemic, really makes you look at life so much differently. Makes me want to do more with my life, It put everything into perspective. The timing was right, so it pushed me over the edge, I was little steppin’ but then May 20th hit and I didn’t want to be on the same job for 40 years.
What or who inspires/influences you?
Independent ownership. I want to be successful, I mean like I said, I'm 51, I have worked for 30 years. I just feel like it was time to jump out the window and take the frame with you. You know? I want to be my own boss. But I want to be a loving one - everyone eats and everyone wins. I want to do right and live right and do good for people. So my Inspiration is to be a better version of myself - and independent ownership. ;)
That being said, on a bad day, how do you push past the negative thoughts or feelings?
Well. I am not afraid of failing. I feel that every new day is a learning experience. When I'm anxious and edgy, I take a breather - smoke a little, and try to reboot and find a new strategy. That doesn't always work, but at least I can calm down. It is important to get to a place that isn't blurry. You know what I mean? Like, it's not crystal clear but at least it is not blurry. When I worked for the city- I would have to tell people I will come back to it. Not every day is a good day. I learned that working regularly everything is going wrong, there are better days. Stay focused. With all the craziness going on right now, it will be easier for people. Tomorrow is not promised and you have to do what you love and everything will work its way out.
Are there other aspects of wellness and self-care you implement in your life?
Well, I do not drink coffee. Gotta have my Seamoss, one spoonful, that I put it in my tea. I try to make sure my vitamins are up, since covid, now more than ever! I even started working out, but now, you know, I want to try walking. I just think it will help free my mind. Seeing a therapist, walks, all can help me relax and you can’t imagine how much of a stress relief it is. For my age, I am okay but I would like to better.
CANNABIS BUTTER SAMPLE
What are you most proud of?
I am most proud of raising children. Real estate definitely taught me to have ownership and what that comes with. I think it is never too late to own property. I am so happy with mine - it’s like my own slice of the American dream or whatever the f*** they want to call it. :)
What advice would you give to those searching for their IKIGAI or the meaning to their lives, especially during these stressful/uncertain times?
PRAY A LOT. Believe and trust the process. The process, the thing you are going through is temporary. You cannot let the process consume you. You have to know it will get better. It won’t always be stressful for there are good, bad, and ugly. You have to be willing to go through all of it. I’m a strong believer, that when God comes, he will carry you on.
My motivation: somedays I get excited about this new chapter in my life. When I was working for the city, there were times that were really a drag. Now doing something I do love, doesn’t feel like that. When I have a purpose and an idea for new things, then I have no time to limit myself. Punching a clock or being home at a certain time really motivated me more to do something different. When I was working I wanted to snooze everything, but now I can’t help but get up early- I am ready for the day! I don’t even seem like the same me from the last 30 years?! I am taking the window and the frame and everything with me. I am Reinventing myself… I hope you all do the same.
Thank you DeeDee and welcome to the ‘IKIGAI’ family! Check out her episode on ‘IKIGAI’ Wellness Series and stay up to date on upcoming interviews!
ASHLEY DOUGLAS
Get to know Ashley Douglas, M. Ed., A.P.C, certified Therapist and licensed mental health professional
Check out her ‘IKIGAI’ episode, where she teaches us about Mental and Emotional Triggers.
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Today we would like to Introduce Ashley Douglas, M. Ed., A.P.C to the IKIGAI family.
Ashley, thank you for joining us and can you introduce yourself to the IKIGAI audience and tell us a little about what you do?
As a licensed mental health professional, I am more than excited to be a part of this series! I chose this profession while on the search to manage my mental health as an adolescent. As I did the“self-work”, I realized how little I knew about mental health or strategies to cope with life’s challenges.
Now, I strive to break down some of the barriers related to mental health and modernize how we see health overall. I continued to see how ignorance or resistance to mental health impacted minority communities. Thankfully, I feel people are beginning to notice the importance of holistic health care and the connection between our minds, bodies, and overall wellness. At times we all experience stress and anxiety; it’s a part of the human experience. I hope that society can see mental health services as essential, not just a privilege! Just as we put time and effort into our physical health, mental health maintenance takes continued work and care.
That's great and we completely agree with you on the essential need for therapy. With the pandemic affecting our mental health, how are you coping? What does your “ new Normal” look like?
Transitioning to this “new normal” has been an adjustment in both my personal and professional lives! Transferring all of my appointments and meetings to the virtual world has brought both new opportunities and challenges. With home becoming my office, gym, favorite restaurant, and everything in between...it’s super easy to blur lines. I’ve had to strive to be mindful of my boundaries so I can continue supporting others. But most importantly, this experience has reminded me to show gratitude daily for all of my blessings!
Ashley, what or who inspires/influences you?
My ancestors and connecting to my African-centered values inspire me when I struggle to find inspiration within. Reminding myself of those that have gone before me and the strength they exhibited is reassuring. These connections continue to remind me that I’m not alone!
That being said, on a bad day, how do you push past the negative thoughts or feelings?
Being able to shelf my thoughts/concerns is an essential part of being present for my clients. But, I am still human! I try not to ignore or minimize my feelings so they don’t hinder other parts of my life. When I can take the time to negotiate my feelings, I free up my mind to be there for others. If that isn’t working, I try to be intentional about spending extra time on self-care. Maybe I take the day off and binge-watch my favorite show or go for a walk outside. Listening to guided mindfulness scripts are also a great way to recharge when I have little time in the middle of the day.
Like binge-watching your favorite show, are there other aspects of wellness and self-care you implement in your life?
Focusing on self-care and managing our mental health should happen daily! We usually think about “self-care” as taking a vacation or scheduling a massage, but it can be simple acts. Caring for ourselves is about prioritizing our needs daily and creating a life you feel is worth living.
2020 was a major wake-up call for me about how many unnecessary stressors I allowed into my space. Having to focus on the essentials made me so appreciative of the smallest things. Now, I think more about how my actions and choices serve my happiness, not just reaching milestones.
Is there anything you would like to do or accomplish in your life that you haven’t done yet?
Oh, there are too many things to even list! I’m optimistic about the future and what's to come both personally and professionally. But once things are safe, I'm most looking forward to traveling! Anywhere with sand and the sun, sign me up!
I hear that! Sign us up too! Ashley, what are you most proud of?
I am the proudest when I’m able to pull off a new recipe. Like most of us, cooking has become somewhat of a restorative experience for me since being at home. I have a whole photo album on my phone dedicated to my “Meals at Home”.
What advice would you give to those searching for their IKIGAI or the meaning to their lives, especially during these stressful/uncertain times?
Be patient and compassionate with yourself! We’re in the middle of an anxiety-proving, high stress-situation. It’s expected we may not be performing at our best or needing to re-evaluate where to go next. Take a deep breath and try to tackle one day at a time.
Thank you Ashley and welcome to the ‘IKIGAI’ family! Check out her episode on ‘IKIGAI’ Wellness Series and stay up to date on upcoming interviews!
‘IKIGAI’ RECIPES
Holly Bark
Move aside Ol' Saint Nick, no more Christmas cookies here!
Move aside Ol' Saint Nick, no more Christmas cookies here! This holiday season I tried my hand at peppermint brownies or how I affectionately call them HOLLY BARK. Brownies are the ultimate comfort dessert from the soft fudgy inside to the crisp flaky crust, a delicious and festive way to indulge in holiday confections.
RECIPE:
1Box Fudge Brownie Mix
¼ cup Water
⅓ Cup Vegetable Oil
3 Eggs
Candy Canes (to taste)
Powder Sugar (optional)
Mix brownie mix, water, oil, and eggs - should be smooth and if so desired, add bits of chocolate chunks - I opted for a "less is more" approach, so no chunks. Spread mixture evenly into an 8x8 inch non-stick baking pan. Bake in oven @ 350° for 22-25 minutes. Remove cooked brownies from the oven. Break candy canes into multiple pieces and sprinkle atop of warm brownies in pan. Once cooled, cut brownies into rectangles. You want it to look similar to that of tree bark. For snow on the branches, add powdered sugar. Enjoy Holly Bark without the "splinters!"
Baby Whooo Cake
Here is a cake even the Grinchiest of Grinches would love~
'All the Whos down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot, but The Grinch who lived just north of Whoville, did not…' Well, here is a cake even the Grinchiest of Grinches would love! Behold, The Baby Whooo Cake. Like the swirly and curvy buildings of Whoville, this cake looks like it came right out of Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas!
RECIPE:
1Box of Vanilla Cake mix
1 cup of water
½ Vegetable Oil
3 Eggs
3-4 Coconut Macaroons
6 Almond Chocolate Pocky sticks
Red Maraschino Cherries
Mix the cake mix, water, oil, and eggs together. You can either use an electric mixer, or like us culinary newbies, take a fork or two and go for it! Once the mixture is smooth, pour evenly into two round non-stick cooking pans (use cooking spray or good old shortening and flour): 4”x3” and 6”x3” pans. Put both pans into the oven and bake @ 325°. Cook for 29-34 minutes. Once the cakes are done, remove them from the oven and let them cool. Once cooled, the real fun begins! Frost the larger cake with vanilla whip cream frosting. This will give a yummy layer of frosting between the top and bottom cakes, once stacked. So, stack the smaller cake on top of the frosted larger cake and evenly frost all over. It should look like a mini two-tier cake. Place crushed macaroons and Almond chocolate pocky sticks in the frosting. With this Baby Whoo Cake, you'll be singing "Ya-whoo Forest" in no time. Enjoy!
Citrus Fins
Don't go checking your oranges and lemons for fish scales, just yet.
Don't go checking your oranges and lemons for fish scales, just yet. Although, this dish has Tilapia taking lemons on a deep-sea journey, sans the seeds. It's as fun to eat as it is to make.
RECIPE:
1 to 3 Whole Tilapia Fish
1-2 Tablespoon of olive oil
1 large clove garlic, peel and minced
3 lemons ( slice thinly )
3 oranges ( slice thinly )
Red and Yellow bell peppers ( thinly sliced )
Fresh herbs - rosemary
Black pepper
Old Bay seasoning
Start with a whole fish and de-scale it, if you bought a (1) Tilapia or multiple Tilapia, you will then cut or score the fish. Cutting slits into the skin 1 inch apart. Line a baking dish (size according to size of fish) with foil. Lay fish in a baking dish. Light oil the fish with olive oil, generously spread the herbs and seasonings on the fish and pan. Then place the sliced lemons, and oranges across the top of the fish, you want the juices to seep into the fish. Then sprinkle cut red and yellow peppers on fish and finish it off with minced garlic. Heat the oven to 450° and place in the oven. Roast for 18-20 minutes or until fish reaches 145°F and flakes easily with a fork. ( Cooking time may vary - depending on the size of the fish ) Remove from the oven and Serve!
Keep the fishhead and make a stew with them! I found mixing your favorite noodles and adding a bit of shrimp and seaweed, you can have delicious ramen. It is also said that fish heads have great protein, since there is low saturated fat, it does not increase cholesterol. There is also a strong amount of vitamin A in the head and brain. Vitamin A is known for good eye health and increases the immunity of the body. Omega 3 fatty acids keep the brain healthy and protect against mental illnesses such as stress, depression. So, whatever you do don't throw out the fish heads!
Smoothie Love
A Love Smoothie, that will love you back the right way~
Celebrating Single Awareness Day...again this year? Well how about something smooth, delicious, and good for you to cure the S.A.D. Day blues. I got just the thing, A Love Smoothie, that will love you back the right way. Happy Valentine's Day ~
RECIPE:
2 Cup Strawberries
2 Cup Mango
2 Cup Banana
1 tsp of Active Ginseng
1 Cup Wheat Germ
16 oz Non dairy liquid of your choice
1 Cup Dried Cranberry (optional)
Ice (optional)
First, put Wheat Germ and fruit into a blender. Add non-dairy liquid of choice (I prefer to use 8 oz of V8 Energy Fusion and 8 Oz of water) and Red Ginseng. If using fresh fruit, add ice for a more chill. Mix all ingredients until a smooth consistency. Pour into cup of choice. Top with cranberry and wheat Germ, if desired. Serve and share the love. Valentine’s day doesn’t have to be S.A.D after all.